What do I need...

A Life that is as pure as the rain drops is what I aspire so desperately at the moment. Not just "my" life but lives of everyone surrounding me. The damn truth is that you can't be happy only by making your own life perfect and joyful in every way. You do want to see people around you be happy as much as or more than you do and that's the real happiness that can complete your life. May it be family, friends, anyone. I am trying my hardest, I think, maybe I should try even more harder to bring a happiness that is not just a matter of course of hours or days  but of many many years in those who are waiting and waiting for a true meaning of their lives. I can't be the meaning or the life, but I am desperate to be a part of the process in bringing happiness. There are several times when I asked God to give me the strength physically and mentally to tolerate things but now I really do wish that  the God gives me the ability to not just tolerate but also to make a change. I am desperate for a power. The urge and the ability to do something which is fruitful, if not power. I need it right now. Life isn't as straightforward as it seems on screen but with a lot of stones and thorns which constantly be there for you one after another. I want to pull out the thorns, throw away the stones in the blind path. Of not just mine but also others'. I want to see people happy. I want to see them smiling everyday.  I want to be able to tell them "I am here for you, to make the change you need in your life". Make them smile.