Life as Placebo

I have been writing very little these days. Neglected my blog once again and to explain why, it is the obvious reason that could possibly stop most of us from not posting enough. Time. Am preoccupied with other things. Which are keeping me away from the blogging world. This is usually the period of a year when we get busier like in May/June. Assignments, SSU...etc. I am not getting anywhere on essays. really. So stressed out. It is getting busier ans busier as time passes by. I guess it will be the case until you reach a point at which you decide to turn back to see how have you lived all the years and sometimes you will feel that you have not achieved enough to be proud of ...though you have reached your main goal. Or sometimes you might be thinking that whatever you have worked hard to reach was pointless. Sounds confusing? I am typing this as my mind races on. And speeding up. And this post may have no uni-direction at all.
As you grow up, you tend to have too many expectations in life. A child looks at something, decides whether it is attractive to the eyes; the colours, shape, action and that is what important there. You gradually grow up, start to look into things and analyse whether something is worth paying off. With whatever. It may feel like you have the control of the way you live. How you dress, how you eat, what you do, where you go, etc. But you really aren't the holder of the control. But we hardly realise that we are living a life which is uncertain every next second. And, we can no nothing about it. But to live! Thats the reality but a status of contingency?!?.
We can never be vacuum of thoughts and feelings. The inner mind will always try to bend and lean for things. Subconsciously. I don't know if the word metaphysical will fit here. But when you think about putting an effort to realise what life is really about, you will be already half way through. The preconceived ideas and superstitions take over and make life an illusion. A dream but with intellectual manipulations. These lines that I have been typing may make no sense to me tomorrow but may do the day after. Thats the definition of life, I guess. At this point of time.
Signing off right now with this thought...without proofreading.
Take Care!